You can do just about anything on the web nowadays. I was in the library the other day, casually surfing the internet, when my attention was shifted to my right; some guy appeared to be learning how to make an atomic bomb on Youtube by merging Febreze, Aunt Jemima's Maple Syrup and two Mercury lamps! And all of a sudden, an irresistible offer came to my screen: acquire someone's soul with the click of a button.
Carrie Crain, a 33-year-old Texas native, has her soul for sale on eBay with the starting bid placed at $1,000. When asked by News 8 Austin what a person can expect from the purchase, Crain said, "I hope I transfer all my good, positive energy to them, and they will do great things..." Of course to anyone with an IQ higher than 30, this may sound strange. And as odd as it may seem, it is definitely not rare.
Mrs. Crain hasn't been the first to do such a peculiar thing, and looking at the current presidential elections she probably wouldn't be the last (but we'll get to that in a minute, let's annihilate these goons first, shall we).
Earlier this year, Hemant Mehta, a self proclaimed atheist, put his soul on auction on eBay hoping that a church organization would purchase his soul accordingly. $504 was the winning bid. In 2007, a Californian attempted to sell his soul for $1 million, and told the CBS affiliate in Los Angeles (KUTV) that the buyer should "keep it for themselves, or give it to someone they know who needs one." He got zip.
Now, at first glace, I thought this was a neat concept; it would definitely give me some leverage in the work force, I mean come on, two souls! Plus, an extra "soul in a jar" could fit well within my Ancient Greek Literature collection, ant farm, and shrine of Jordan sneakers.
But then some doubts kicked in, and some obstacles seemed to be in the way, noticeably: common sense, reason, spiritual discernment, a drug-free environment and a good eye for identifying scammers, just to name a few. I mean, whose soul am I buying exactly? And what in the world is up with the ridiculous shipping fee?!
It’s obvious that no one can sell an inanimate object ,of this kind, to another person. Here are three good reasons why it won't work:
(1) It violates Einstein's Theory of General Relativity:
(2) It could be illegal in some states; most likely Hawaii, Kentucky, Idaho and the other 47 states.
(3) Finally, the consumer must partake in the same amount of crack cocaine, LSD, Ecstasy and/or Dr. Phil self-help books, as the soul-seller currently does in order to make it work.
But in addition, forgive me for being too spiritual here, I don't quite think God wanted us to disregard and take our entire being for granted, folks. In all seriousness, militant atheists attack faith, family values, and morality on a daily basis; is it really necessary that they mock the soul too? Psychologists still haven't figured out where one's "self" is located in the brain. Even the poster-child for secularism, Sigmund Freud, identified the "self" as one of our most essential entities, but had no clue to its whereabouts. Maybe, just maybe, it's because this is a spiritual matter, not one that can be dissected in natural terms.
Do politicians have souls, and would they sell?
Now the real question comes: do politicians have souls? Even an Aristotle-Darwin-Galileo-Newton team would have a tough time figuring that one out, but I'll take a jab at it.
Now that we've hopefully concluded that selling souls online is a bit creepy/sac-religious, where does that leave our two main presidential candidates, Barack Obama and John McCain, and their flip-flopping parallelisms? It can be argued that they, like most politicians, have sold their entire beings to all 50 states, voters, and lobbyists while perpetuating false glimpses of hope and promises.
In 2000, John McCain was the presidential nominee for change within the conservatives; he was the maverick of the party. Today he is whoever you want him to be. Before he would say that Christians, specifically Jerry Farewell and Co., were "agents of intolerance," now he sings a different tune, sipping coffee with Billy Graham at his ranch in North Carolina, romanticizing the Southern Baptist Conventions' elites, and claiming himself to be a man of strong conservative values. I won't argue the latter, but I'm a bit suspicious.
Obama on the other hand is like a puppet to his campaign team and the poster-child for political correctness. One day he says "not wearing flag pins does not make me un-patriotic" the next day he wears six, just to keep people happy. In one speech he says "Reverend Wright (his controversial pastor) is just one in the norm," the next town hall meeting he disassociates himself from him.
So what does this all mean? I don't know. However, if the candidates have gone this far with the concept of flip-flopping, then they might as well sell their souls on eBay too. Think about it, they could increase their campaign money, and capture the hearts of millions of Americans, weird Americans, but Americans.
Nevertheless, this is why some people are indifferent to politics. That's why most voters' next choice for president would ultimately have to be the lesser of the evils. And unless Abraham Lincoln rises from the dead, I'm sad to say our next best choice just may have to be the air-head that wants to sell her soul on eBay; unless of course she flip-flops on the war on Iraq then it's gridlocked.
Please see the video of the soul-seller from eBay: